Day 6 April 1, 2009
Wow almost a whole month without posting. Way to go me! Not really! I have been blessed with a special gift. God has placed in me the wonderful ability to write. He is leading me to write. I journal about my life, I write about my dreams, and have started the process of writing my first novel. I feel strongly about writing. I feel I have been blessed with this gift for a reason. I may not at this moment know what that reason is, but can feel it in my heart that there is a purpose. So, babysteps. I will track my progress through this blog.
I am blessed!
JONI
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Count My Blessings!
Day 5 March 6, 2009
Well yesterday was a tough day for me. I have those every now and again. I know I should be thankful. I know I should feel blessed, but sometimes I can't see the positive of anything. Yesterday, was one of these days, and I made it known to all around me. From the minute I woke up, till the minute I fell asleep I was making other lives miserable. I thought, hey I am miserable, why shouldn't others be. Before you even say it or think, I know this is wrong. I know this was horrible of me. I need help. That I will agree with you on. I have tried to get help, I have sought out help from doctors, counselors, and even twice at an ER. At one of my lowest moments, my husband took me to the ER. I was going to end it all. I had more that I thought I could take, more that I thought anyone should have to take. There, all they said to me is you don't qualify as a case to be admitted. I then flat out, in front of the mental health professional, said...
"How many pills do I need to go to my car and take before someone...anyone... will help me. You know the answer I got? Don't be rediculous. You are fine, go home. Once again, instead of help, I got let down. OR DID I.
At the lowest point, when I wanted to just give up, call it quits, put myself and all those around me out of their misery, I got told that I was fine, and to go home. This itself, was the blessing. I realized, that no matter how bad I think things are, I'll live. I'll walk on. I am blessed for that.
Don't get me wrong, I still have those days, where at night I close my eyes really tight, and pray. I have prayed on multiple occasions, to just not ever wake again. But each day I live, whether at that moment I feel it or not, is my blessing. I am blessed with each new day. I am blessed for each breakfast I enjoy with my son. I am blessed for each kiss I get on my forehead from my husband. I am blessed that I get to sit tonight and write about how blessed I am. I am blessed! I AM BLESSED!
Well yesterday was a tough day for me. I have those every now and again. I know I should be thankful. I know I should feel blessed, but sometimes I can't see the positive of anything. Yesterday, was one of these days, and I made it known to all around me. From the minute I woke up, till the minute I fell asleep I was making other lives miserable. I thought, hey I am miserable, why shouldn't others be. Before you even say it or think, I know this is wrong. I know this was horrible of me. I need help. That I will agree with you on. I have tried to get help, I have sought out help from doctors, counselors, and even twice at an ER. At one of my lowest moments, my husband took me to the ER. I was going to end it all. I had more that I thought I could take, more that I thought anyone should have to take. There, all they said to me is you don't qualify as a case to be admitted. I then flat out, in front of the mental health professional, said...
"How many pills do I need to go to my car and take before someone...anyone... will help me. You know the answer I got? Don't be rediculous. You are fine, go home. Once again, instead of help, I got let down. OR DID I.
At the lowest point, when I wanted to just give up, call it quits, put myself and all those around me out of their misery, I got told that I was fine, and to go home. This itself, was the blessing. I realized, that no matter how bad I think things are, I'll live. I'll walk on. I am blessed for that.
Don't get me wrong, I still have those days, where at night I close my eyes really tight, and pray. I have prayed on multiple occasions, to just not ever wake again. But each day I live, whether at that moment I feel it or not, is my blessing. I am blessed with each new day. I am blessed for each breakfast I enjoy with my son. I am blessed for each kiss I get on my forehead from my husband. I am blessed that I get to sit tonight and write about how blessed I am. I am blessed! I AM BLESSED!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Count My Blessings!
Day 4 March 3, 2009
Today I am thankful to be blessed with friends. Though I can't brag that I have tons of friends, I can however brag that I have the most wonderful friends. I cannot ask for a better set of friends. My friend Amanda has always been there for me when I needed her. She has blessed every aspect of my life. We played together as children, hung out as friends in high school. We shared college experiences, and were in each others wedding. I have called her in the middle of the night, as she has me. We were even pregnant at the same time and went through that together. She is a wonderful person, who does this world a lot of good. Although she may not always think so, she has been and will always be the most wonderful friend in the world. I love her lots, and am pretty sure she returns that back to me.
I have another friend who is just as honorable, but in a different way. His name is Christopher, Chris for short. I have known him since I was 16 years old. I met my husband Nick at my first real job...Hardees. We were at first just work pals, until he introduced me to Chris. His best friend. Chris and I dated on and off through high school. He graduated a year before me and went off to college. Although we still talked, he went on and dated and met the woman who would later become his wife. In the mean time, Nick and I became closer and closer. We soon got married. I married the man who introduced me to his best friend, thinking we would make a good couple. Strange but true. The best thing about it is that today, we are all, Chris and Tiechera, Nick and I, are all now close friends. Chris has been there for me in situations where just hearing his voice is comforting to me. From day one, I loved him and he as loved me. Just not on the level of love Nick and I are on. I totally care about him, and now his wife and son. He is more family to me than my own family is. Although I was not blessed with a biological brother, God did bless me with a emotional and spiritual brother. I would have it no other way.
There are a few others, who I am friends with, and would go out on a limb for. I have truely been blessed, but there is one more honorable mention. Hopefully that doesn't sound bad, as it is meant to be a compliment. This friend is special to me at so many levels, and we have never met. I have never hugged her, or shook hands, or even smiled at her in person. This doesn't matter, she is a TRUE friend in every other way. I don't even quite remember how things started. I do know we met through the love of scrapbooking and rubber stamping hobbies. It has been around 4 years. I have went from talking every day to every month to maybe even going a year without talking, but the strangest things happen. Whenever, I am down, whenever I felt at a low point in my life, she seems to pop up from out of nowhere. As I cannot say that I have done the same for her, I wish that one day I will. Anyway. She is my friend. Always will be, but she is more than that. She has been like my little guardian angel. I believe, that everyone meets for a reason. And hopefully one day we will be able to meet in person, but God allowed us to meet, even if it isn't face to face. I am so blessed to have Amber as a part of my life. I hope she knows that I am there for her if she ever needs me, like she has been there for me, when I've needed her. It is amazing to me how God works through people.
Our God is an awesome God, and I thank him. For I am truely blessed with the greatest friends.
Today I am thankful to be blessed with friends. Though I can't brag that I have tons of friends, I can however brag that I have the most wonderful friends. I cannot ask for a better set of friends. My friend Amanda has always been there for me when I needed her. She has blessed every aspect of my life. We played together as children, hung out as friends in high school. We shared college experiences, and were in each others wedding. I have called her in the middle of the night, as she has me. We were even pregnant at the same time and went through that together. She is a wonderful person, who does this world a lot of good. Although she may not always think so, she has been and will always be the most wonderful friend in the world. I love her lots, and am pretty sure she returns that back to me.
I have another friend who is just as honorable, but in a different way. His name is Christopher, Chris for short. I have known him since I was 16 years old. I met my husband Nick at my first real job...Hardees. We were at first just work pals, until he introduced me to Chris. His best friend. Chris and I dated on and off through high school. He graduated a year before me and went off to college. Although we still talked, he went on and dated and met the woman who would later become his wife. In the mean time, Nick and I became closer and closer. We soon got married. I married the man who introduced me to his best friend, thinking we would make a good couple. Strange but true. The best thing about it is that today, we are all, Chris and Tiechera, Nick and I, are all now close friends. Chris has been there for me in situations where just hearing his voice is comforting to me. From day one, I loved him and he as loved me. Just not on the level of love Nick and I are on. I totally care about him, and now his wife and son. He is more family to me than my own family is. Although I was not blessed with a biological brother, God did bless me with a emotional and spiritual brother. I would have it no other way.
There are a few others, who I am friends with, and would go out on a limb for. I have truely been blessed, but there is one more honorable mention. Hopefully that doesn't sound bad, as it is meant to be a compliment. This friend is special to me at so many levels, and we have never met. I have never hugged her, or shook hands, or even smiled at her in person. This doesn't matter, she is a TRUE friend in every other way. I don't even quite remember how things started. I do know we met through the love of scrapbooking and rubber stamping hobbies. It has been around 4 years. I have went from talking every day to every month to maybe even going a year without talking, but the strangest things happen. Whenever, I am down, whenever I felt at a low point in my life, she seems to pop up from out of nowhere. As I cannot say that I have done the same for her, I wish that one day I will. Anyway. She is my friend. Always will be, but she is more than that. She has been like my little guardian angel. I believe, that everyone meets for a reason. And hopefully one day we will be able to meet in person, but God allowed us to meet, even if it isn't face to face. I am so blessed to have Amber as a part of my life. I hope she knows that I am there for her if she ever needs me, like she has been there for me, when I've needed her. It is amazing to me how God works through people.
Our God is an awesome God, and I thank him. For I am truely blessed with the greatest friends.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Count My Blessings!
Day 3 March 2, 2009
Today is such a beautiful day, cold, but the sky is perfect. It is blue all around with big white, almost pearly, fluffy clouds. The look as they were hand picked especially for the day. I am thankful for the beauty of nature all around me. I am thankful that the sun shines, that the flowers bloom, that the rainbow appears after a summer's rain. I am thankful that the wind blows, that the clouds appear in both beauty and in storm. I am thankful for God supplying us with the wonderful goods, grown in gardens and fields. I am thankful for the winter, to give rest to the land, so it can provide for our needs. I am thankful for the farmers who grow the crops and tend to the animals. I am thankful for everything in nature as far as I can see or even imagine. I know that without the handy work of God's hand, none of this would be possible.
Thank You God...For I am truely blessed!
Today is such a beautiful day, cold, but the sky is perfect. It is blue all around with big white, almost pearly, fluffy clouds. The look as they were hand picked especially for the day. I am thankful for the beauty of nature all around me. I am thankful that the sun shines, that the flowers bloom, that the rainbow appears after a summer's rain. I am thankful that the wind blows, that the clouds appear in both beauty and in storm. I am thankful for God supplying us with the wonderful goods, grown in gardens and fields. I am thankful for the winter, to give rest to the land, so it can provide for our needs. I am thankful for the farmers who grow the crops and tend to the animals. I am thankful for everything in nature as far as I can see or even imagine. I know that without the handy work of God's hand, none of this would be possible.
Thank You God...For I am truely blessed!
Message From Above!
I was sitting in my car at the gas station, thinking about how gas is cheaper now, but still a pretty big chunk of change, when a huge F250 pulled into the pumps. I no sooner finished asking Nick, how anyone in the world, (not meaning so much anyone, but people like us) could afford to fill that gas tank, when the truck turned and I read the talegate.
There it was, the answer to my question, the answer to every question...
Right there on the tailgate in huge letters...
"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"
There it was, the answer to my question, the answer to every question...
Right there on the tailgate in huge letters...
"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Count My Blessings
Day 2 March 1, 2009
Today I am thankful for a couple things. First of all, yesterday I turned 29. I have several health problems, actually some are pretty bad, but I am thankful that I am alive. I am thankful that God has let me live everyday so far. I know sometimes I feel bad, sometimes I feel like pulling the covers over my head and sleeping for the rest of my life. I am at those times, being so ungrateful. I should thank God every second of every day for letting be live, breathe, and enjoy life. There is yet a purpose for my time here. If I don't know it yet, then there are reasons for that. Either my time for greatness has come yet, or I need to open my eyes and ears to the world around me. Thank you God for bringing me here for your use. I know that you have a goal for me. I'm ready.
I am also thankful for my husband Nick. Today is his birthday and he has turned 30. I know at least one of his purposes in life, is me. Without him, I am not sure I would have been strong enough to make it this far in life. When I have been down, he has always lifted me up. Thank you God for bringing him into my life.
God Bless You!
JONI
Today I am thankful for a couple things. First of all, yesterday I turned 29. I have several health problems, actually some are pretty bad, but I am thankful that I am alive. I am thankful that God has let me live everyday so far. I know sometimes I feel bad, sometimes I feel like pulling the covers over my head and sleeping for the rest of my life. I am at those times, being so ungrateful. I should thank God every second of every day for letting be live, breathe, and enjoy life. There is yet a purpose for my time here. If I don't know it yet, then there are reasons for that. Either my time for greatness has come yet, or I need to open my eyes and ears to the world around me. Thank you God for bringing me here for your use. I know that you have a goal for me. I'm ready.
I am also thankful for my husband Nick. Today is his birthday and he has turned 30. I know at least one of his purposes in life, is me. Without him, I am not sure I would have been strong enough to make it this far in life. When I have been down, he has always lifted me up. Thank you God for bringing him into my life.
God Bless You!
JONI
Skipped A Few Days
Well, after one day of posting, I skipped a few. That is not unlike me. I say things with the greatest of intentions, but somehow slip up along the way. There is no need for me to post several messages to make up for lost time, so I won't. I'll just try harder.
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